Jan 032011

Will I ever find
is this chaos really

To find the peace
I seek
to see my future
not so bleak

Jan 012011

During my most
lonely times
and despair
was my constant

Time was
and had
no effect
on me

Except for
all the time
you were
on my

How insanely cruel
that thinking
of you
replaced joy
with pain

And yet
pushing you away
so I can live
seems more
cruel still

Dec 302010

Lying in the dark
I pray
and from my heart
silent words find
their way

Please help me
when to love or
to let go
for alone I can’t

The stifling threat
of dark
no longer
mars my mind
or leaves its mark

And quiet settles in
my soul
through divine grace
a sense of peace
becoming whole

Dec 292010

I am not scared
of the dark
but night falls
and I feel trapped
in a shell
I hardly recognize.

With grim determination
silence surrounds me
and allows the walls
of my mind to
act as a sounding
board to amplify
the thoughts
running through
my mind.

Trying to escape
is pointless and
I am forced to
listen to your voice
repeating words
I so desperately
wanted to hear
but were never

If I knew how to
shut down your
memory and
allow sleep to
rest my soul
I would be able
to embrace another
dream besides

Dec 292010

I would like to draw
a beautiful image
on a white canvas
and use a soft pencil
to outline my thoughts

My hand would be
moving as if
guided by unseen strings
tentatively sketching
on patient paper

I am afraid to see
that what would appear
are dark shades
of gray and
heavy black lines

That hurt grief and
loneliness etched
in my soul will
be set free and
become real

This dark canvas
I wanted to call hope
some day it will
be erased
… some day